the one about the Father(in-law)

So its Friday night, and I’m sitting at the computer thinking about this past week sipping on a long island. My daughter is in bed, my wife is at my parents house scrap booking, and our puppy is sleeping at my feet. Now what I would usually be doing now is turning on the PlayStation 4 and playing Destiny. After this past week and all of the crap my wonderfully brilliant father in law put us through, I am utterly exhausted and just need to vent. So I have turned to you, oh great internet.

Last Friday, we drive 5 hours to northern WI from Chicagoland, (where we live) only to be told half way though that he doesn’t want us to come up. rude.

7am Saturday, he orders my wife to clean up HIS kitchen after his own wife (not my mother in law) made a mess cooking and baking (my wife didn’t want to help her bake because she is uber anal). and it was 7am…

11 am rolled around on Saturday. We all loaded into our vehicle to go to a Menard’s, not a hard find in the Chicago burbs, but in Northern WI it was an hour drive. So on our way there he is giving me directions and a driving lesson and teaching me how to drive, like I haven’t ever driven before. Which having been driving around in downtown Chicago, well 🙂 I can at least see where he is coming from.

We arrived at Menard’s and he had to go to the bathroom so bad that he ran out of the car and into the store, not be seen again for another few minutes. Let me preface this trip with the fact that he is a contractor and offered to redo our bathroom for us last year.


There we were at Menard’s, waiting by the bathroom for the old man. When he finally emerged we set on our way to buy a bunch of stuff that HE needed. TWO hours later we were finally ready for him to show us what we needed to buy to redo the bathroom. 20 minutes later we had what we needed…. I was dumbfounded.

My wife asked him about the Shower/bathtub unit and his reply

“I already bought it” he quipped “it was seven hundred dollars. I’ll take a check.”

I was ready to throw down in the middle of the Menard’s, what an imbecile! His tone of voice and delivery of the particular sentence just said punch me in the face.

While I was resting the urge, My wife responded, “You know that was the main reason we came up is so we could do it together and find one we like for a good price”.

“Whatever, I bought a good one, not one of those cheap ones you woulda picked”

“You realize that that seven hundred is an additional third added onto what we were willing to spend on the unit, Why did you spend so much?” as we walked past a 400 dollar unit.

I shook my head as they talked about his behavior and how he needed to eat well when he came down, again because he was doing it for “free”

It was almost 3pm and our daughter (who is 17 months) usually eats lunch around 1pm and she was not happy about the extended shopping trip or the snacks from mommy.she was a trooper but she wanted her food. after we fed our little tot, we set off on the hour long trek back to the “ranch” they have. Its really just a 3 acre section of land carved out of the middle of the woods. I cant even begin to go into how materialistic he is. He goes on and on about his $4500 leather couch and his new $4700 fridge and his new snowmobile and all his other crap. I really cant stand the man.

The whole trip back to his place we had to listen about how he needed certain types of food when he came down this next week. He made such a huge stink out of it, rubbing our faces in the fact that he was doing the work for free (At the end of it I would have been glad to just pay someone else to do it, at least I could write a bad review)

He requested burgers and grilled chicken and salads, eggs, meatloaf….GOOD LORD. My wife spent 300$ on groceries for the old bag. And he was a huge cry baby about it the whole time… I’m getting ahead of myself…

Sunday morning we left early. like 8am. We made it back with enough time to straighten out the house before he came over and wrecked it on Monday night.


I worked till 5, My wife was getting ready for at 7 pm. (She is a Paramedic and works 1, 12 hr shift per week) it just happened to be Monday this time. 6pm rolls around and my father in law comes flying up the driveway, clips my fence, and pulls into our back yard and literally parks in the middle of my back yard with his enormous truck and trailer. Walks right into the house and sits at the table and says with a scowl

“Wheres my dinner?”

I was ready to lay him out then and there. After second thought, I’m at least going to get a nice bathroom out of this clown. I let it slide. My wife was about 20 minutes away from leaving for work  and I was out side grilling the chicken. I went inside to help her with the salad and the cooked veggies like his grace requested. When the chicken was done  I brought it in and we served his entitledness dinner. We had already eaten a quick salad at that point. We don’t eat much really anymore who has time? He mowed down his food and went to sleep on my couch. at 7 pm. so the night was over for everyone else. Because he needs to sleep in the living room… Not on the futon in the basement… Diva.

At this point  I feel like I’m enabling his wonderful self and allowing him to have this horrible attitude. He didn’t even say hi to His granddaughter. He was so worried about his food.

I forgot to mention my Wife’s Grandpa came down to help out. He was a great guest, like you would think a guest should be. It was almost like he wasn’t even there. He brought his own bedding, and towel and pillow. He didn’t come with a menu, he ate what we served and said thank you. He even apologized for his sons attitude. I’m sure he was embarrassed, My wife sure was.

Tuesday through Thursday was more of the same, just when you thought he had run out of rude things to say, he would just pull something else out of his sphincter . It’s exhausting to a person to be around such a rotten personality for that long. My wife waited on mister demanding hand and foot all week, he always needed something, water, a sandwich a protein shake…she was in the kitchen cleaning the kitchen and after them in the hall way between our bedroom and the bathroom.

Wednesday He was working on the plumbing in the basement, installing and moving stuff around, when he was done for the day he complained that the basement was a mess and that I’m lazy and need to keep my basement cleaner. O_0  Well, it would have been clean but some arrogant windbag was down there tearing up my drop ceiling and throwing all my stuff out of the way so he could get to the pipes.

Thursday morning he was throwing a fit in the kitchen, he couldn’t find he crappy instant decaf Folgers crystals at 6 am.

“Wheres my Galdarn coffee?” he sneered, rummaging through our cabinets and pantry. it was on the island. “son, wheres my coffee?”

“Not sure dad, who used it last?”

“I did, It’s my coffee”(no duh)

“Well, where did you put it?” (seriously, are we 6?)

“Just go ask your wife”( really?)

“I’m not going to wake her up to ask her where you put your coffee” (reasoning …wasted)

Before I knew what he was doing he had busted into our bedroom and was yelling at my poor wife about his coffee. I wanted him to like trip and get a concussion or something.

When he came back to the kitchen he saw it. Nothing was said. No apology and no acknowledgement of what had just transpired. She yelled at him later. I missed that though

When he left on friday morning at 5am I couldn’t have been happier. But when I got home tonight I wanted call him right back down.

He left a huge mess in our house, food remains, dust from the bathroom, and not to mention the hack job on the bathroom, uneven floors, enormous screws in the trim boards, terrible paint job, it looked like it was the first time he ever used silicone, or cut along a corner with a paint brush. I wanted scream. If it were a game, I would have rage quit right there.

All that garbage and he is going to try to hold it over our heads forever that he came down and “remodeled” our bathroom for free. what a freaking hack. never again.

After talking with my wife tonight, I found out that everyone thinks he is a fool (his dad, his brothers and their wives).I I guess I got what I “paid” for. I feel for my wife in all of this, she lost her mom (my real mother in law) to colo-rectal cancer several years ago. Her dad remarried in under a year, was dating 2 weeks after the funeral, saying that he didn’t really have a relationship with my wife’s mom while she was sick (heartless?) then he HAD to get married before my wife and I did. And he refused to contribute to our wedding, and then he took credit for the food afterward.  

My wife lost her brother to suicide about 6 months ago. Beside her sister, her dad is her last immediate family member. I can’t believe he is such a prick. The man needs to be put in his place.

Yes he is a real person. This past week was a train wreck.

there isn’t mush worse than a loud fool.

One Heck of a fist blog

Krench7 out.